a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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