Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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A man did not like this site

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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