What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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kkkk

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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your mom.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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