if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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asdasdasdasd

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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