Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

why did arno fly away? he was a bird

What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

You had better thumbs up this post.

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...