I had a dream I watched Inception.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Nickelback

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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your all shit at jokes

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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I love you.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Guess what? SHADAP

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dildo

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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