A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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William Raines.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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women's rights

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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