Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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