Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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the WNBA

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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