What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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