Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Death by kayak

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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