What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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I read the terms of service.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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