A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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