Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops