Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Your face is hilarious.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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