SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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if you don't like this you're gay

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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