What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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