Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops