What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops