Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

Hello

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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