Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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