What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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guess what what ...

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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An anti-joke

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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lol

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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