Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops