What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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