69

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

Man U

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

21

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...