Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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LOL

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Robin, get in the car!

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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