Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops