How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops