What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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Haha, I get it..

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops