How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

school homewrok

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops