A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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