Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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