Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Stephen Hawking

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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