What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops