Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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One time i was sitting down

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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( . Y . )

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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How did th-A fridge.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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