Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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