Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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