A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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