How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops