What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

YOLO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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