An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

21

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

911 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops