Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops