Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Penis-biter

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why? Why not?

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops