What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops