patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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deez nuts

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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