A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Barack Obama plays basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

im telling maguire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops