Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops