I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops