My life

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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Global Warming.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Hitler

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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