What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's your guys names?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whatdumb and gay stewart price

thumb_up thumb_down -11

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops