how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

thumb_up thumb_down -25

your so fat. your fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -25

men

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops